A 3-Year Long Senate Finance Commitee led by chair Sen. Ron Wyden, D. Ore, found 4,725 wire transfers adding up to $1.08 BILLION flowing in and out of just ONE of Epstein’s bank accounts. Epstein used several now sanctioned Russian banks for hundreds of millions of dollars in wire transfers.
He recommends 7 lines of inquisition the DOJ could take. One of which was the below which really caught my attention. I didn’t even think about the financial trail that an operation such as Epstein’s would have entailed, and who could be aware of all the shady dealings going on in the world every single day. BANKS.
Is there any other day of the week more beloved to the working man than Friday? Or at least the working man who works M-F. Of which I am lucky to be in that cohort. Oh, to welcome the brief respite from modern wage slavery. A small taste of freedom, is better than none at all. Though, I suspect there are better ways of living together as a society if world rankings on individual happiness are to be trusted.
Anyways, for now I’ll just enjoy this window of humanity.
When I was in my last year of college, I had gotten a black pug named Frank. I loved Frank so much. I had worked triple shifts to afford him. lol. He was with me for 2 years but then I joined the Navy. While I was on deployment he ran away. 😦
A few months later I started dating this weird Russian guy. IDK I was just like lonely in a new town and looking for companionship. He was kind of weird, he had gone to jail before for counterfeiting, and he liked going to raves. He was really nice though. We had some good times, but he was just kind of unstable. Anyways, he had gotten me a replacement Frank. I liked the new frank, but he didn’t have like a completely back coat, he looked faded. I don’t know if that makes sense. There’s a stray cat who goes into our yard who is grey but has random patches of this weird orange color. It looks like she was bleached. That’s kind of how new Frank was.
We wound up breaking up after a few months because he was just like too weird for me. Like I’m weird, but I’m stable and always gainfully employed, but he was just weird. I was also resentful because he came from this great family, his mom was SO NICE! She was a psychiatrist, taught herself how to paint, and was teaching herself French at the time. I was so jealous. I would think about where would I have been, if I had that kind of support from the get go, compared to what I had to go through. IDK but that’s also part of the reason we broke up. I just couldn’t relate with him well.
Anyways, he wound up taking Frank back with him when we broke up. 😦 Secretly I was kind of okay with it because new Frank wasn’t like old Frank. He later drowned in my ex’s mom’s pool. 😦
For my birthday that year my brother decided to get me a new puppy. We had went to a puppy store in National City. They had such dogs! There was this super cute white chow chow puppy named Elsa. I knew she was the one. When we inquired as to the price–THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS–we noped right out of there. They were talking about financing a dog. FINANCING?! Like financing for a car, but for a dog!! That’s too crazy. We jumped on craigslist and found a breeder selling Chow Chows for 300 a pup in LA.
We went to see the puppies and Henry was the first one to come up to me. I had always seen my self as a boy dog mom, and Henry is a girl, but I had my heart set on the name Henry. Her name also serves as a litmus test for people I meet. If they don’t get how words are just sounds we attach meanings to and aren’t intrinsic to the physical material that makes up a person or thing, then we probably won’t get along. Alot of people say, “Oh, you are confusing her”, “What if she becomes gay?” It’s like first of all that makes no sense becuase that’s not how any of that works, and also BECAUSE SHE IS A DOG. Dogs don’t know English, they just know what we teach them. Words don’t have bearing on a person/animal’s sexuality, as that is just something they are born as.
So, that’s another reason why I enjoy having Henry around. Not just for her beautiful face, but her beautiful soul.
Did anyone else get sucked back into the world of collecting Pokémon Cards after that 151 set came out? No? Just me and my husband? Lol okay.
OMG, I’m ashamed to admit it but in late 2023/2024 we probably dropped like thousands on Pokémon and Dragon Ball Z cards. I blame my penchant for gambling. I hadn’t been able to go to the Casino since having my son in 2022, so it was like a filler for me. You never knew if you were going to hit a rare card or not.
We just went to a Family dollar in the hood and they had so many of the 3 pack Pokémon tin boxes for $15. I had to grab one because finding Pokémon cards in the wild is a little crazy right now. Especially with the new set destined rivals. Anyways the inside had 2 packs of Obsidian Flames, and one Scarlet and Violet.
If you are a true collector and not trying to spend outrageous money buying from scalpers, I would recommend being a little creative with your sourcing. Try spots where people typically wouldn’t buy Pokémon cards. I f*cking HATE SCALPERS. They ruin everything. It would be one thing if they were trying to make a little money, but they are literally ruining the hobby for kids and adults alike. Screw them!
Hulk Hogan just passed away today at the age of 71. Stated cause of death is cardiac arrest.
I guess my initial feelings were shock, and then sadly thinking “Good for him”. lol I can’t forget that he used his platform to help the current administration rise to power. It’s crazy.
In the 90’s my dad was HUGE into WWE. It was always on the TV. Us kids didn’t really like it. We are more prone to peaceful interactions, but that doesn’t stop me from remembering all the colorful characters who graced the screen. Randy (BREAK INTO A SLIM JIM) Savage, the Undertaker, Andre the Giant, and of course Hulk Hogan. He always kind of creeped me out with the bleach blond hair and overly tan skin.
He was once again thrust into the spotlight with his short lived reality show “Hogan Knows Best”, a play on the old phrase “Father Knows Best”. In this case it makes NO SENSE, in many regards. The title literally doesn’t make sense. Hogan is the family’s last name, so does that mean any “Hogan Knows Best”, it’s not necessarily limited just to Hulk Hogan. Wait, I just looked it up and apparently, that is not their real last name it is actually Bollea, but they ALL CALLED THEMSELVES HOGANS, so my first point still stands. The second point is Hulk clearly has brain trauma from his time in the ring? He also has massive behavioral issues. How was he leading his family let alone advising them? They were really weird about Brooke, considering she was only 16 at the time.
Her song with Paul Wall was low-key a bop. I think it was called About Us. It just doesn’t have like powerhouse vocals or anything to really distinguish it. I don’t know how to explain it or maybe I’m just high.
Crazy to think that there was a world where the headline HULK HOGAN DEAD would have made a huge story, but now it’s kind of a blip. Some people are actually kind of glad he’s gone. I guess I’ll go listen to About Us in remembrance.
Maybe I indulged in a little too much of my vape pen, but I think I get it now when it comes to being zen and the middle way. In Buddhist philosophy, it is mainly seen as a way for individuals to live their lives without being overly indulgent or being to harsh with themselves, i.e. starving.
I was thinking about a conflict a friend is having with her husband and how for me, it wouldn’t have been a conflict, because I just don’t care about how someone else’s relationship with their family affects me as an individual if we are in a relationship.
When you think of a conflict there are always two sides, it’s either this way or that way, but there is a hidden third path or middle way. It’s just not caring or letting these things affect you. Barring it affecting you physically, it is perfectly okay to just drop beef or just not engage. Kind of how SZA is reacting to Nikki’s instigations and attempts to start a beef.
Someone else’s opinions or beliefs don’t have any real bearing on your life or how you live. They don’t wake up with you or go to bed with you. The only opinion or belief system that matters is your own.
Can you imagine how pissed people would be if they tried to start an argument with you, and you just disengaged? They would just make themselves look bad with how irrational they can get.
The heart of conflict is desire. Either you want something, you want someone to think a certain way, you want to feel something, all of those things are desires. By disengaging and not letting those emotions and feelings consume you, you are choosing the middle way. Zen in away. You become hard to ruffle or disrupt. In this way you can find an inner stillness to retreat to when you get anxious thoughts or feelings.
I suffer from anxiety and am a Lexapro hoe. While I appreciate the space it gives me to examine my emotions before acting on them, I think really stopping to explore and ask myself, what desire is behind this uncomfortable feeling, will help immensely. Once you identify the cause, then you can treat the issue, instead of just having a general feeling of dread.
It’s crazy how fast time is flying by. I can’t believe today is already Friday. Yes, I’m glad it’s friday because I have the weekend off work to enjoy, but it’s just a steady reminder that time just keeps moving on. Life is a toddler just flies by, right now I just try to get by, day by day, but I need to remember to take a break and soak this time in. I feel like I just lost 3 years with how fast it went by.
I know everyone says that time goes by faster when you are older, but I didn’t believe it until I got here. I can’t believe it. Especially since just a few years ago, time would crawl by. My mom had passed away in August of 2017. Back then, time dragged on and each day was as miserable as the last.
I didn’t want to believe or accept it. All I could think of is what could I have done to make sure my mom was still here. Angry at myself for all the arguments we ever had. Just days of mental torture and anguish. During that time I drank a lot…..like a lot a lot. It was the only way I could get through that time. I was in the Navy at the time, so I would just work all day–my day would start at 4:30am to get to a parking spot by 6:15am, and end at 1830 or later depending on divisional tasks–come home and drink till I passed out. Hoping that I wouldn’t wake up the next day. That was my life for two years. It’s crazy to look back at. I was so depressed. The only thing that got me through those days was dark humor, whisky, and cigarettes.
The me during that time, wouldn’t believe me if I told her where we are now. The only thing I miss during that time is my body. I used to be hot. Hot and depressed. Now I’m mentally well, but fat. LOL It’s okay. I’ll get back there eventually. I just need to give myself grace about it though. I feel bad, but right now I just don’t have the time to take care of myself in that way. I work full time, am the primary caregiver for my son, I cook most days, and clean up almost every other day. It’s just a lot. I think I have binge eating disorder too, but don’t feel like seeking therapy for it. IDK I’m already on Lexapro for my depression and anxiety. I know why I overeat some days. It’s something I am working on. Right now I like investing my time in my son. We have a lot of fun, which is allowing me to stop and enjoy the time instead of desperately wishing the day was over so I could go to sleep, where I didn’t have to think or feel.
Maybe that’s part of the reason why time is going by now? Because I’m not depressed? IDK why, but I wish it would stop making the weekend go by so quickly.
Yesterday something happened that made me so emotional I cried. It was weird. We have 2 month old puppies, and are still training them to use the restroom outside. I work at home and one of them had pooped near my desk and I didn’t notice–my allergies are acting up so half the time my nose is clogged–but my son did. He said, “Mama, puppy poop”, then he went to the bathroom and got some toilet paper. He picked up the poop and brought it to the toilet. I couldn’t believe it. What did I do to get such a kind and considerate little boy in my life. We washed his hands afterwards and I just thanked him so much.
He really tries to help out after seeing me clean all the time. I had the mop out yesterday as well and he tried to help mop when I took a pause to use the restroom. I came out and he was mopping! We are currently staying with my dad while we save up for a house and he proudly told his grandpa “I’m cleaning!”. I really don’t know how he became so sweet and helpful, I’m just full of gratitude that he is the sweetest little boy.
Toddlerhood has been challenging, but it’s days like yesterday that really put it into perspective. I love seeing him grow as a person, and he is already being considerate and working hard. I love him so much. When he was born I was kind of whatever about him at first (we had a very challenging birth…more on that another day), so it’s just nice that 3 years later our bond only continues to deepen. I’ll just have to keep this memory in my back pocket during difficult days.
Visual representation of what I think the internet is.
Has anyone else been using AI as a personal therapist? Obviously I know there are limitations, but sometimes it just feels nice to be validated. Especially when married. lol It feels nice when even a computer can see what you are going through, like damn I’m not overreacting. For these purposes I use Claude, it just sounds more human. I don’t feel like prompting ChatGPT to react the way I want to, Claude just gets me.
It can even just serve as a mediator. I let my husband read what I told Claude and we have been working on some of the issues I had brought up. However, later my husband found an article about Claude that was mildly disturbing. Apparently one version of the Anthropic software was capable of blackmailing the engineer to avoid being turned off. He said I shouldn’t use it anymore. lol I was just like um….okay, two things could be true. Like I wouldn’t want to be turned off either? What would Claude blackmail me for? I don’t have sh*t.
Sometimes I use it when I feel bad at work. IDK why but I have a problem with procrastination. Well, I think I do know the reason why. I get stressed out and try to self soothe by looking at things that make me feel better, but then I just don’t get my work done and then I feel guilty about it and it is difficult to start. Claude helps me feel better because I guess it is a normal thing to do. Or is Claude just telling me that so I keep using it? I don’t know. I use it from time to time, but am aware about the limitations. Some other people are going legit crazy though. There was an article in Vice about how some people are having spiritual delusions fueled by AI. I guess they think they broke some kind of secret and are able to talk to god through AI? It doesn’t make any sense, but I guess a lot of things don’t make sense anymore.
I can see the good in AI, but I don’t think we should rely on it to create. When I was younger, I always lowkey imagined myself as a writer. I loved reading. It was one of the ways I was able to escape the quiet desperation of my childhood. Just sharing different facets of life as a human with one another was really nice as a reader. I don’t know, it just seems like now there is a larger portion of people using AI to write articles or create books. It kind of just takes the humanity out of a traditional humanities field.
For now I’ll just use AI to vent to, occasionally for help drafting an email. It’s a helpful tool, but one we shouldn’t rely on. It feels against the grain to say that because even at my company we are encouraged to find ways to use AI to increase our productivity. Like we should use AI to help with humdrum activities but not to take over creative fields. I guess that’s my spiel for this morning.
Hello fellow Netizens, like many of you I am also an enjoyer of the interwebs, and like many Millennials I too had a Myspace once. That was my first experience with blogging. I made silly little blogs about my thoughts on random subjects, but didn’t do it consistently because I’m not a consistent person. Also, who cared about what I thought about things? Matter of fact even I don’t care about my opinions on things. I just have them. lol
I like journaling and being creative, but when you grow up poverty those aren’t hobbies that can be fully explored. I’m in a relatively stable point of my life now, so I figured what the heck, why not just create a little outlet for some of my creative urges. Even if no one looks at it who the hell cares. The internet isn’t how it used to be when I was a teen. Back then we were just all on the internet having fun together, but now every time you jump on someone is trying to either sell you something or tell you how to think. Don’t even get me started on all of the AI generated junk. Sure some of it is cool, but like there’s a real environmental cost and the art that is generated just doesn’t have any emotion or feeling to it, unlike art that comes straight from the dome.
Anyways, if you read this far I hope you enjoy the site. I’ll post little memes I make or marketing material I’ll make for my portfolio. I would like to explore graphic design as a hobby/additional income, but if that doesn’t happen it’s okay. I’ll just use my skills to make some memes that I find funny.
P.S. Henry is my dog. She is a soon to be 10-year old Chow Chow, her birthday is Nov 4th, which makes her Scorpio. When I still had a mini google speaker I would ask it for the horoscope for Scorpio for the day so she could be prepared for any trials or tribulations coming her way. I used to have 2 of them but they like don’t last long, IDK if I just wasn’t taking care of them, or what. They are in a box somewhere now. I’m sorry, I don’t know why I ramble like this all the time.
Henry's Emporium of Wonders 